Stop People Pleasing

And Find Your Power

By: Hailey Magee

Narrated by: Hailey Magee

Length: 11 hrs

Publisher's summary

A viral life coach offers a practical, empathetic, and inspiring guide to breaking people-pleasing patterns that can harm our careers, relationships, physical, and psychic health.

For most of Hailey Magee’s life, people-pleasing came so naturally to her that she didn’t even have a word for it. When somebody wanted something from her—even a stranger—she gave it, no matter how uncomfortable, exhausted, or resentful she felt inside. People-pleasing, she learned, was a coping mechanism that had kept her physically and emotionally safe in the past, but wreaked havoc on her life in the present—and she was committed to breaking the pattern once and for all.

The solution that social media and self-help shelves gave her was to “Advocate for yourself! Speak up! Set boundaries!” But after years of ignoring her feelings and needs, Magee needed more than boundaries; she needed to reconnect with the “self” who was supposed to be doing the advocating. You can’t express yourself if you’re cut off from your feelings. You can’t fight for your needs if you don’t know what they are. And you can’t set boundaries with others until you believe you’re worthy of more than the bare minimum. Radically reconnecting with herself gave Magee the confidence and self-respect she needed to stand up for herself in her relationships. As she experienced a freedom she never thought possible, she became a certified life coach with the mission of helping others do the same.

Stop People Pleasing explains how anyone can break the pattern by learning their own feelings, needs, values, and desires; ending cycles of enmeshment and codependency; overcoming guilt; developing physical and sexual agency; and more. It is a refreshingly nuanced guide, exploring fundamental questions like:

-How can I tell when my genuine kindness veers into people-pleasing?

-How can I set boundaries while maintaining my empathy and generosity?

-When is it appropriate to compromise on my needs, and when is it not?

Combining social science, psychology, and hands-on coaching exercises, Stop People Pleasing teaches you how to connect with your own feelings, needs, and dreams; courageously advocate for yourself in your relationships with friends, family, and colleagues; soothe yourself through the growing pains of healing; and dive headfirst into pleasure and play. With fresh insight, heartfelt empathy, and a keen personal understanding of the pitfalls of people-pleasing, Magee helps you say what you need and get what you deserve.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2024 Hailey Paige Magee (P)2024 Simon & Schuster Audio

I’m feeling seen and empowered

This is a wonderful book. I’ve been listening to it all morning and the narration is wonderfully paced with the subject matter being relatable to anyone. The subject nailed my childhood experiences and has helped me know what points to bring up during therapy. Check it out if you can.

Phenomenal, impactful, and insightful

I deeply needed this and feel seen in the most beautiful way. Like so many of us, I experienced CPTSD from childhood trauma involving almost all of the ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and have been on quite the healing journey over the last few years, soaking up information and learning to put myself first. Hailey's book gives me so many real life examples and useful tools to make requests and set boundaries as a recovering people pleaser who couldn't figure out why narcissistic family members, lovers, bosses, and "friends" seemed to flock to me like the Pied Piper but yet were never able to meet my needs in return. I thought something was wrong with me for having needs, and heaven forbid, wants (oh no!).

I knew on a surface level that I was a people pleaser, but this is the first time I have read something meaningful and concrete around this topic that actually speaks to the underlying roots, behaviors and motivations of people pleasing. Hailey's book has given me the "how" I needed to address the self sabotage, playing small, criticism, internal, and external boundary breaking that I had continued and would return to when faced with resistance from those closest to my heart. Even with a mountain of learning and knowing about my triggers and the abusers in my life under my belt, I wasn't able to transform that knowledge into personal power. I have the framework to do this now. Thank you Hailey for writing this comprehensive, thoughtful, and life-changing book. Forever grateful, forever changed.