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The Woman They Wanted
- Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife
- Narrated by: Shannon Harris
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's summary
As a twenty-three-year-old singer and the soon-to-be wife of youth pastor Joshua Harris, nothing in Shannon Harris's secular upbringing prepared her to enter the world of conservative Christianity. Soon Joshua's bestselling book I Kissed Dating Goodbye helped inspire a national purity movement, and Shannon's identity became "pastor's wife."
The Woman They Wanted recounts Shannon's remarkable experience inside Big Church—where she was asked to live within a narrow definition of womanhood for almost two decades—and her subsequent journey out of that world and into a more authentic version of herself. Entering conservative American Christianity was like being drawn out to sea, she writes, inexorable and all consuming. Slowly, her worldview was narrowed, her motivations questioned, her behavior examined, until she had been whittled down to an idealized version of femininity envisioned as an extension of her husband and the church. However, when Sovereign Grace Ministries fell apart due to leadership conflicts and Shannon found herself outside church circles for the first time in years, she heard her intuition calling to her again. As she began to shake off the fog of depression and confusion, that voice grew louder. In honoring it, she awakened to the realities in which she had been trapped and found her truest self.
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In the summer of 1985, a brilliant young British DNA scientist Helena Greenwood is found murdered in her front garden in a quiet suburb in California. The police believe they know the killer’s identity but there’s no evidence against him, and the only thing linking him to the crime is the fact he’d been charged with sexually assaulting Helena just a few months previously.
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Frustrating
- By Amazon Customer on 01-28-24
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Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World
- By: Jack Weatherford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Jack Weatherford
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The Mongol army led by Genghis Khan subjugated more lands and people in 25 years than the Romans did in 400. In nearly every country the Mongols conquered, they brought an unprecedented rise in cultural communication, expanded trade, and a blossoming of civilization.
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Golden Horde/Platinum Listen
- By Cynthia on 12-11-13
By: Jack Weatherford
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Sorry for Your Loss
- By: Michael Cruz Kayne
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Original Recording
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A sidesplitting, heartrending look at life—and death. This powerfully personal production, recorded live from the Minetta Lane Theatre, cuts through the platitudes, directly reaching out to anyone who has ever experienced loss—or will. So...everyone.
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A Must Listen for the Grieving
- By Chris on 09-25-23
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Evil Has a Name
- The Untold Story of the Golden State Killer Investigation
- By: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente, Peter McDonnell
- Narrated by: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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For his victims, for their families and for the investigators tasked with finding him, the senselessness and brutality of the Golden State Killer's acts were matched only by the powerlessness they felt at failing to uncover his identity. Then, on April 24, 2018, authorities arrested 72-year-old Joseph James DeAngelo at his home in Citrus Heights, Calif., based on DNA evidence linked to the crimes. Amazingly, it seemed, evil finally had a name. Please note: This work contains descriptions of violent crime and sexual assault and may not be suitable for all listeners.
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Audible Raises The Bar On True Crime Genre
- By R. Squyres on 11-16-18
By: Paul Holes, and others
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The Demon Next Door
- By: Bryan Burrough
- Narrated by: Steve White
- Length: 2 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Bryan Burrough recently made a shocking discovery: The small town of Temple, Texas, where he had grown up, had harbored a dark secret. One of his high school classmates, Danny Corwin, was a vicious serial killer. In this chilling tale, Burrough raises important questions of whether serial killers can be recognized before they kill or rehabilitated after they do. It is also a story of Texas politics and power that led the good citizens of the town of Temple to enable a demon who was their worst nightmare.
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Odd narration choice
- By Amanda Fredericks on 03-08-19
By: Bryan Burrough
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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Audible Masterpiece
- By Phoenician on 09-10-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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Murder Machine
- A True Story of Murder, Madness, and the Mafia
- By: Gene Mustain, Jerry Capeci
- Narrated by: Victor Bevine
- Length: 15 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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They were the DeMeo gang - the most deadly hit men in organized crime. Their Mafia higher-ups came to know, use, and ultimately fear them as the Murder Machine. They killed for profit and for pleasure, following cold-blooded plans and wild whims, from the mean streets of New York to the Florida Gold Coast, and from coast to coast. Now complete with personal revelations of one of the key players, this is the savage story that leaves no corpse unturned in its terrifying telling.
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stop browsing and just get it.
- By Patrick on 04-20-21
By: Gene Mustain, and others
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The Debutante
- By: Jon Ronson
- Narrated by: Jon Ronson
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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Thirty years ago, award-winning journalist Jon Ronson stumbled on the mystery of Carol Howe—a charismatic, wealthy former debutante turned white supremacist spokeswoman turned undercover informant. In 1995, Carol was spying on Oklahoma’s neo-Nazis for the government just when Timothy McVeigh blew up a federal building in Oklahoma City, killing 168 people.
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Interesting but not compelling
- By Gail Jester on 04-15-23
By: Jon Ronson
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Elvis and Me
- By: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Narrated by: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The inspiration for the major motion picture Priscilla directed by Sofia Coppola, this New York Times best seller reveals the intimate story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley, told by the woman who lived it.
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What a story!
- By Pen Name on 08-28-22
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Two Women Walk into a Bar
- By: Cheryl Strayed
- Narrated by: Cheryl Strayed
- Length: 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Twenty-one years after Cheryl Strayed set off on the Pacific Crest Trail to heal from the death of her beloved mother, Cheryl’s mother-in-law, Joan, is given weeks to live. As she and her husband help see Joan through her final days, Cheryl reckons with their complicated relationship, determined to connect with a woman who both showed her love and (sometimes hilariously) held her at a distance. Cheryl reflects on their two decades together as she comes to a deeper understanding of the secrets and sorrows in Joan’s complicated past.
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Cheryl tells a great story!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-01-24
By: Cheryl Strayed
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Letters from Guantánamo
- By: Mansoor Adayfi, Antonio Aiello
- Narrated by: Mansoor Adayfi, Fajer Al-Kaisi, Elias Khalil, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 55 mins
- Original Recording
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In weeks after the September 11 attacks, 18-year-old Mansoor Adayfi was kidnapped by Afghan militia and sold to US forces for bounty money. After months of interrogations, he was sent to the US military prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, as one of its first prisoners. Like the nearly 800 other men imprisoned at Guantanamo, Adayfi didn’t know why he was imprisoned or for how long. He had never seen a skyscraper and couldn’t imagine what the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center looked like, much less how they were destroyed.
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Great method of storytelling
- By Stacy Dube on 05-13-24
By: Mansoor Adayfi, and others
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Journalist Sarah Stankorb outlines how access to the internet—its networks, freedom of expression, and resources for deeply researching and reporting on powerful church figures—allowed women to begin dismantling the false authority of evangelical communities that had long demanded their submission.
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Rooted in her experiences growing up in an evangelical Christian family, Jamie Lee Finch’s You Are Your Own offers an overview of evangelicalism and the painful confusion and anxiety experienced under its demands. Finch explores the mechanisms of trauma and how fundamentalist denominations match the patterns connected with PTSD. She elaborates on the doubt, guilt, fear, and grief that haunt those leaving the evangelical faith and offers an approach to help them recover healthy self-worth and resilience.
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great content.
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In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls - resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - and trapped them in a cycle of shame.
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I expected a different ending I suppose
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Dr. Laura Anderson takes an honest look at a side of religion that few like to talk about. Drawing from her own life and therapy practice, she helps listeners understand what religious trauma is and isn't, and how high-control churches can be harmful and abusive, often resulting in trauma. She shows how elements of fundamentalist church life—such as fear of hell, purity culture, corporal punishment, and authoritarian leaders—can cause psychological, relational, physical, and spiritual damage.
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Amazing- this has helped
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Growing up in a deeply evangelical family in the Midwest in the ‘80s and ‘90s, Sarah McCammon was strictly taught to fear God, obey him, and not question the faith. Persistently worried that her gay grandfather would go to hell unless she could reach him, or that her Muslim friend would need to be converted, and that she, too, would go to hell if she did not believe fervently enough, McCammon was a rule-follower. But through it all, she was plagued by fears and deep questions as the belief system she'd been carefully taught clashed with her expanding understanding of the outside world.
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Multiple Reasons
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Journalist Sarah Stankorb outlines how access to the internet—its networks, freedom of expression, and resources for deeply researching and reporting on powerful church figures—allowed women to begin dismantling the false authority of evangelical communities that had long demanded their submission.
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Jon Ward's life is divided in half: two decades inside the evangelical Christian bubble and two decades outside of it. In Testimony, Ward tells the engaging story of his upbringing in, and eventual break from, an influential evangelical church in the 1980s and 1990s. Ward sheds light on the evangelical movement's troubling political and cultural dimensions, tracing the ways in which the Jesus People movement was seduced by materialism and other factors to become politically captive rather than prophetic.
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Rooted in her experiences growing up in an evangelical Christian family, Jamie Lee Finch’s You Are Your Own offers an overview of evangelicalism and the painful confusion and anxiety experienced under its demands. Finch explores the mechanisms of trauma and how fundamentalist denominations match the patterns connected with PTSD. She elaborates on the doubt, guilt, fear, and grief that haunt those leaving the evangelical faith and offers an approach to help them recover healthy self-worth and resilience.
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great content.
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In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls - resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - and trapped them in a cycle of shame.
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I expected a different ending I suppose
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When Religion Hurts You
- Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High-Control Religion
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Dr. Laura Anderson takes an honest look at a side of religion that few like to talk about. Drawing from her own life and therapy practice, she helps listeners understand what religious trauma is and isn't, and how high-control churches can be harmful and abusive, often resulting in trauma. She shows how elements of fundamentalist church life—such as fear of hell, purity culture, corporal punishment, and authoritarian leaders—can cause psychological, relational, physical, and spiritual damage.
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Amazing- this has helped
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Growing up in a deeply evangelical family in the Midwest in the ‘80s and ‘90s, Sarah McCammon was strictly taught to fear God, obey him, and not question the faith. Persistently worried that her gay grandfather would go to hell unless she could reach him, or that her Muslim friend would need to be converted, and that she, too, would go to hell if she did not believe fervently enough, McCammon was a rule-follower. But through it all, she was plagued by fears and deep questions as the belief system she'd been carefully taught clashed with her expanding understanding of the outside world.
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What if the goal of raising a Christian girl was about more than keeping her virginity intact? What if it was about raising a strong, independent young woman who knows who she is, uses her voice, and confidently steps into the life God has for her? From the authors of The Great Sex Rescue comes this evidence-based book grounded on surveys of over 28,000 women to offer moms a fresh, freeing, and biblically grounded message of sexuality and self-worth for their daughters that is less about the don'ts and more about the dos.
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The response we needed to “purity culture”
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Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.” A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.
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The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood
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"Biblical womanhood" is the idea that the Bible teaches God-ordained male leadership and female submission in the home and subordination in the church. Some say this hierarchy of authority is sufficiently evidenced by examples of male leadership (and lack of female leadership) in the Bible: the first human was male, Israel's official priests were male, most authors of Scripture were male, Jesus was male and chose twelve male Apostles. God is addressed as Father. Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands.
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Excellent
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Raised in the Christian patriarchy movement, Cait West was homeschooled and could only wear clothes her father deemed modest. She was five years old the first time she was told her swimsuit was too revealing, to go change. There would be no college in her future, no career. She was a stay-at-home daughter and would move out only when her father allowed her to become a wife. She was trained to serve men, and her life would never be her own.
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Well said and well written
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As a psychotherapist and professor of marriage and family therapy and sexuality at a Christian University, Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD, has spent a career listening deeply to the often untold, most tightly held, shame-filled stories of people’s lives. Over the last 30 years in particular, these stories have revealed the devastating effects of abstinence education, the purity movement of the evangelical church, and the simultaneous removal of media regulations that allowed for an influx of sexual violence against women to enter all forms of commercial media beginning in the 1980s.
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Necessary reading
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Still Christian
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In this provocative tell-all, David Gushee gives an insider's look at the frictions and schisms of evangelical Christianity, based on his experiences that began with becoming a born-again Southern Baptist in 1978 to being kicked out of evangelicalism in 2014 for his stance on LGBT inclusion in the church. But Gushee's religious pilgrimage proves even broader than that, as he leads his listener through his childhood experiences in Roman Catholicism, his difficult days at the liberal Union Seminary in New York, his encounters with the Christian Right, and more. In telling his story, Gushee speaks to the cultural divisions of a generation.
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Excellent
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Non-Toxic Masculinity
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In Non-Toxic Masculinity, Zachary Wagner tells men, "If you are in Christ, this is your problem—and you should be part of the solution." Reflecting on his own coming of age in the purity culture movement and ongoing recovery from sexual shame, Wagner confronts harmful teaching from the American church that has distorted desire, sex, relationships, and responsibility. For those—both men and women—who feel disillusioned and adrift, this book offers a renewed vision for Christian male sexuality founded in empathy and selflessness.
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Required Reading for Men
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Jesus and John Wayne
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How did a libertine who lacks even the most basic knowledge of the Christian faith win 81 percent of the white evangelical vote in 2016? And why have white evangelicals become a presidential reprobate's staunchest supporters? Jesus and John Wayne is a sweeping account of the last 75 years of white evangelicalism, showing how American evangelicals have worked for decades to replace the Jesus of the Gospels with an idol of rugged masculinity and Christian nationalism.
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Like reading a history of my evangelical life
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Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome
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In a debut memoir that is funny and earnest, Riley invites questioners, doubters, misfits, and curious believers to participate in the universal search to heal what life has broken. Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome takes you by the hand and reminds you that sometimes you first have to be lost in order to be found.
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Couldn't get past the first chapter.
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Losing Our Religion
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American evangelical Christianity has lost its way. While the witness of the church before a watching world is diminished beyond recognition, congregations are torn apart over Donald Trump, Christian nationalism, racial injustice, sexual predation, disgraced leaders, and covered-up scandals. Left behind are millions of believers who counted on the church to be a place of belonging and hope. As greater and greater numbers of younger Americans bleed out from the church, even the most rooted evangelicals are wondering, “Can American Christianity survive?”
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A Prophetic Call to Renewal
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By: Russell Moore
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All the Scary Little Gods
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"You don't know God." The church elder’s eyes locked on me from across the conference table. “He’s absent from your narrative.” The room went woozy, and I struggled to bring my brain back online, managing to sputter, “God is the center of my narrative!” But he wasn’t listening. He already had his story about me. Here’s mine.
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Brilliant True Story Telling
- By lisa on 05-11-24
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I Didn't Survive
- Emerging Whole After Deception, Persecution, and Hidden Abuse
- By: Naghmeh Abedini Panahi, Eugene Bach - contributor
- Narrated by: Naghmeh Abedini Panahi
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Naghmeh Abedini Panahi lived in constant tension from the irreconcilable realities playing out in her own life, in her family life, in the conduct of others, and on the worldwide stage as she interacted with power brokers and well-known religious leaders. I Didn’t Survive: Emerging Whole After Deception, Persecution, and Hidden Abuse is Naghmeh’s firsthand story, which takes you from war-torn Tehran to the quiet Midwestern U.S. to the halls of power in Washington D.C.
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Her perseverance!!!
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What listeners say about The Woman They Wanted
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Performance
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- Maria Hauskins
- 05-05-24
The Strength of Women
I had an inkling of who Josh Harris was. I never grew up in Christian patriarchy or got involved as I grew up. I heard a review of this book on another podcast and was curious. I bought this book and I’m so glad I did! Shannon is a wonderful writer and she tells her story beautifully. You are with her as she looses herself in her marriage and this world of evangelical wife hood and woman hood and she brings the reader (or listener) with her in her journey of rediscovering her voice and her identify outside of her famous husband and the strict culture they were apart of. 100/10, this is a must read!
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- Hope Wilson
- 01-01-24
A Must Read
Very clear and thoughtful examination of the trauma from church. Helpful in understanding how one might end up in a life never imagined.
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- Sandy Holt
- 11-18-23
Bitter sweet story.
I really enjoyed Shannon's honest sharing of her journey. I can see how it would be many women's story in some evangelical churches. I am thankful that my own experience has been one of freedom for women to share their gifts and talents and still be true to who they are. My own faith journey has been Full of ups and downs, Sweetness and pain. Failures and redemption. Always pursued by my savior Jesus and reminded how much he loves me, not my performance. Religion is not what Jesus has in mind for his daughters to
Bear as a Burden. The only thing that saddened me about the story was that in the end, Shannon was not sure She even believed there was a God. I'm glad she is free from The tyrant of religiosity. I am happy that her faith journey can now truly begin ... that Jesus always pursues us. I would be lost if he hadn't pursued me. I love you, Shannon.
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- Marissa Bond
- 05-03-24
It needed to be written
A necessary read for those of us still reckoning with the woman they wanted us to be. Thank you, Shannon.
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- Sheryl A.
- 11-27-23
Important wake up
Personal story of how an ultra conservative church pidgeon holes and disenfranchises women. rather than protecting peoples faith they push believers to a crisis of faith. Important memoir that answers most of the questions people have about this couple. Minus stars for literary style and reading.
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-30-23
The fruit of truth
Thank you for sharing your story and living courageously. This message needs to be spoken.
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- Jennifer
- 11-02-23
I Couldn’t Put It Down
This is the experience, to some degree or another of many, many women in church. It was extremely relatable.
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- Pablo
- 01-20-24
A nice take on American Evangelism.
This is an ideal read for someone who is starting to question their faith or Evangelical faith community. It’s a safe and balanced book.
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- AK
- 04-07-24
Gratefully sad
I am gratefully sad that Shannon Bonne (Harris) wrote this account…grateful for her courage and honesty, and also sad for her experiences and forced entry into a farce of Christianity. While I cannot come close to grasping her experience, I can also say she was truly misled into a “faith” that was spoon forced (not fed) to her, which means I am sadly unsurprised at her painful story. I can disagree with some of her biblical and theological assertions, but I can also understand why she believes (or doesn’t believe) as she does.
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- Amy Garbo
- 01-04-24
A close and personal portrayal of religious indoctrination told by a very smart and brave woman.
This book was astounding. It provides an in depth look at an often clandestine world. Shannon’s story is moving and inspiring to anyone coping with escape from a high control religions. Highly recommended. All the best to Shannon and her family!
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