By the Time You Read This

The Space Between Cheslie's Smile and Mental Illness—Her Story in Her Own Words

By: April Simpkins

Narrated by: April Simpkins, Emana Rachelle

Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins

Publisher's summary

By the Time You Read This is the story former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst was about to publish before her tragic suicide. Her mother, April, wraps up the narrative by exploring the mental illness and depression that took her daughter’s life.

The text read, “By the time you get this …” This is the story of Cheslie Kryst, a former Miss USA, in her own words.

When the world awoke on the morning of January 30, 2022, many were shocked to learn of the tragic death of former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst.

For most people, the news was unfathomable. How could a young woman in the prime of her life—a pageant queen, accomplished attorney, Extra correspondent, and tireless advocate for charity organizations—have been lost to the world so suddenly?

By the Time You Read This shares the manuscript Cheslie wrote before her passing, her story in her own words—from the highest highs of passing two bar exams, winning Miss USA, and beginning an exciting career as an entertainment journalist to the lowest lows of heartbreak, betrayal, and persistent depression.

When Cheslie’s mother, April Simpkins, picks up the narrative, she shares for the first time what she experienced in the aftermath of Cheslie’s suicide. When faced with such a devastating loss, how does a mother find a way to carry on?

Whether you are someone who struggles to maintain your mental health, or you love someone who does, this book will share insight into a reality that impacts thousands of families every year—as well as provide hope for those who are left behind.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2024 April Simpkins (P)2024 Forefront Books

Heartbreaking and uplifting

I’m a mother of 4 children, although I haven’t lost any children to suicide or a death of any kind. This book resonates with me. My children and I suffer from mental illness and have for a long time. Just listening to April and Cheslie’s point of views is heartbreaking and uplifting. I thank you for putting her story and there and for you, her mom being vulnerable and strong enough to do it. Anyone and everyone with children should read this book.

Truly Heartbreaking

I pre-ordered as I found myself so eager to try to understand. Why did she feel she was depressed and when was she diagnosed? When was her first ideation of suicide? What were the dynamics of her previous attempts? What on going measures did she take to give self-care since understanding she had such profound depression? The book offers more about her pageantry than dealing with her mental health. After reading and listening to the audiobook, my questions are unanswered. Perhaps Cheslie actually just wanted a book about the road to MISS USA. Maybe there was more that wasn’t included in the book. Where Cheslie’s words end didn’t seem like an ending to a book. What is in the book seemed to me like most of our lives, with wins and losses, ups and downs. Certainly nothing stuck out to me that would have alerted me to any danger of anyone deciding to end their life… That she is gone is a tragedy for sure, but thankful that April finished her work and shared a part of Cheslie’s world. No doubt that we may never have answers. Now, the current MISS USA says she is taking a mental health break. What is really going on?

Powerful and Sobering

I smiled, I sobbed, and I saw myself in many of these honest reflections about pressure and purpose. This book is a must read for so many, especially those who are on journeys of decoupling their worth from their productivity. May you find true joy in your present… and nourishment for your soul. Thank you, Cheslie and April.