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Don't Shoot Me in the Ass, and Other Stories
- Narrated by: Tanner Smith, Dawn Hartwell
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
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By turns heart-stopping, hilarious, and profound, here are 10 rollicking tales of action and technology—from the author of the best-selling Arisen series.
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These stories ripple with two-fisted gunplay, white-knuckle computer hacking, and the absurdity of high-tech existence. But beneath the surface, powerful themes underpin the action: the effects of science and technology on our understanding of philosophy and religion (and sex); the quiet capitulation of isolated young men and women who are very handy with computers, guns, or both; and the meaning of our commitments to other people, especially when things begin to fall apart.
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After their mother passes, three estranged siblings reunite to sort out her estate. Beth, the oldest, never left home. She stayed with her mom, caring for her until the very end. Nicole, the middle child, has been kept at arm’s length due to her ongoing battle with a serious drug addiction. Michael, the youngest, lives out of state and hasn’t been back to their small Wisconsin town since their father ran out on them seven years before. While going through their parents’ belongings, the siblings stumble upon a collection of home videos and decide to revisit those happier memories.
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Enjoyable Read
- By VM on 05-24-24
By: Jeneva Rose
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Bluebeard
- By: Jim Clemente, Peter McDonnell
- Narrated by: Joseph Fiennes, Karen David, Holt McCallany, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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In 1919, Kathryn Wombacher finds a lonely-hearts ad placed by one Walter Andrew: "Would be pleased to correspond with a refined young lady or widow. Object, matrimony.” Kathryn and Walter fall in love and marry within weeks. What Kathryn doesn’t know...is that her new husband is really James “Bluebeard” Watson, a notorious West Coast serial killer who catfished and married 22 women, murdering 10.
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Performances
- By HappyMom on 05-24-24
By: Jim Clemente, and others
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Oregon
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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It was 1970 in a defeated Rhode Island fishing town. Vietnam and Nixon dominated the national news. Both the near and distant future looked bleak. But they were five inseparable high school friends with something incredible in common: an unwavering resolve to look after each other no matter what hell life threw at them. And they were on a mission. The plan was simple: Go off the grid before they turned 18 to avoid the draft. They’d sell some grass, stack some cash, then head west and start a commune. What could possibly go wrong?
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This really hit home.
- By Ray Beaulieu on 05-26-24
By: Don Winslow
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Dietrich
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s the summer of ’77 in New York City, and the only thing more unnerving than the scorching heatwave is the rampant murder, leaving washed-up homicide detective Richard Dietrich on edge. When Dietrich investigates a brutal mob hit the brass doesn’t want him to solve, he goes from phoning it in to getting in over his head. Caught up in a mysterious second homicide with an even more perplexing perpetrator, Dietrich starts to second guess his instincts—and his memory—as he searches for answers at the bottom of a bottle.
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Haunting ending
- By Shirley Anderson on 04-21-24
By: Don Winslow
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Unfinished Business
- By: Shankari Chandran
- Narrated by: Nicholas Brown, Pallavi Sharda
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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Sri Lanka, 2009. Decades of civil war and bloodshed are being brought to an end at last – by any means necessary. In the capital, Colombo, tenacious journalist Ameena Fernando is murdered, execution-style, on a busy street near her home, with no witnesses. With pressure growing to find Ameena’s killers, CIA agent Ellie Harper is sent to seek justice for the journalist’s death with strict instructions: Find something, but not too much. It’s her first time returning to the island after her last mission went tragically awry four years prior, and Ellie has more than one ghost to lay to rest.
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Fantastic
- By Bella on 03-25-24
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Too Late
- Definitive Edition
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Ryan Gray, Maxine Mitchell, Joe Arden
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Sloan will go through hell and back for those she loves. And she does so, every single day. Caught up with the alluring Asa Jackson, a notorious drug trafficker, Sloan has finally found a lifeline to cling to, even if it’s meant compromising her morals. She was in dire straits trying to pay for her brother’s care until she met Asa. But as Sloan became emotionally and economically reliant on him, he in turn developed a disturbing obsession with her—one that becomes increasingly dangerous every day.
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Triggering and poor narration
- By Katherine Epperson on 07-11-23
By: Colleen Hoover
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One of Us Is Dead
- By: Jeneva Rose
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt, Hillary Huber, Elizabeth Evans, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Opulence. Sex. Betrayal…sometimes friendship can be deadly. Meet the women of Buckhead—a place of expensive cars, huge houses, and competitive friendships. Who amongst these women will be clever enough to survive Buckhead—and who will wind up dead? They say that friendships can be complex, but no one said it could ever be this deadly.
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Great mystery. Sexually graphic.
- By Sue on 09-04-22
By: Jeneva Rose
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What listeners say about Don't Shoot Me in the Ass, and Other Stories
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Maria Rasmussen
- 11-02-23
Don't Remove from My Device
This was great, fun and fast-paced. Both narrators did a really good job changing up voices and carrying the scenes. I know that short stories are meant to be savored, but I couldn't help listening to the collection straight through to the end. And then I listened to it again. Now it's going to be on my phone permanently as a go-to when I need something quick to entertain my brain. I guarantee that there will be some new literary nugget to experience with each play. Not only does the action move along fast, but there are so many thought-provoking rabbit holes that I often found myself rewinding to hear what I missed while ruminating.
Each story is a a concisely captured heady moment, with details and feelings tightly arranged in a neat little package. They're smart with rude and edgy humor, mostly featuring working professionals in post-9/11 California. Some are kind of ridiculous, like the Silicon Valley coders who play assassination games, but I loved them all. Each story can be read alone, but there is a connection through the pervasive theme of considering one's purpose, from family roles to being a patriot and on to the cosmic level. The range of situations and characters is pretty wide with a prepper helping a federal agent during civil unrest, a bisexual jerk of a talented coder, a big brother protecting his sister in the Guatemalan Cloud Forest, an assassin considering his goals, passengers on a high-jacked plane, a jaded DEA undercover agent and lots more, all thinking on their life choices, some pondering existence in a metaphysical way and all coming to conclusions about life.
Fuchs' Arisen series is my absolute favorite, but I was warned these earlier stories would be nothing like the novels featuring special operators saving humanity from zombies. Although this is true, and the stories are in completely different settings, they do include that intelligent humor and decisive action that Arisen fans may appreciate. My favorite piece is Three and a Half Billion Year Old Men because it's got camaraderie among smart, talented friends, a flirty bit of romance and lots of colorful swearing, including some future Fickisms about male genitalia.
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- John
- 11-05-23
Overall Enjoyable
The narrators did a good job. the stories were different, and enjoyable. I liked that each had varied subject matter.
Thanks Michael!
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- ThrillReader
- 11-22-23
So Varied, and Each Are Unique!
I used to read short stories when I was younger, and got out of the habit. Now that I am in my middle years (don't judge), I like having a brief handling of a topic so that my husband and I don't have to rewind to figure out where we were at last listen! This also allows for listening during errands and other short timespans, such as the last 15-20 minutes before lights out.
About this book:
1) What I love about this audiobook of short stories is that each story is a complete idea which really makes you ponder the subject matter (in a way that is all too much MICHAEL STEPHEN FUCHS, author of the famed Arisen series). :D
2) I also love that there are two narrators, one male and one female--and neither one of them is R. C. Bray. (I love R. C. Bray's voice, but I have a husband that is addicted, and I have heard him altogether too often in every genre imaginable.)
3) Another thing I love about this audiobook is that it is organized in a way where you start with interesting stories, then quickly move to run and gun stories, and then proceed to heart-pounding WTF Is Happening?!? stories.
I highly recommend that you take a listen to this excellent compilation!
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- Richard Casto
- 11-28-23
Mixed bag. Some good, some bad.
I bought this for a few reasons. The two primary reasons were the length (good fit for a planned road trip) and genre (action/adventure works well for road trips). I really didn’t research the author until later. When I did look up the author, I felt that he should also have been a good fit as I am a fan of post-apocalyptic and/or military fiction and his books seem to be well reviewed.
I found the entire collection to be a mixed bag. A number of the stories felt like “bro-fantasy fiction” in which the protagonist is using insanely impractical weapons (i.e. think “video game famous weapons") and acting in cartoonish, stereotypical or even memish ways (“So anyway I started blasting!). Not to mention frequently the protagonist was not a particularly sympathetic character. Some stories also felt like they were not fully formed, but rather unfinished or maybe just a chapter from a potential book. However others were good and I would say more mature and well written with a good story, good characters and a satisfying conclusion. The disparity in quality was so much at times that I wondered if they were written by the same author. I wonder if maybe this is a collection of stories written over a period of time. Some very early and raw (bad) and newer ones that are more polished (good).
If you can get through the stinkers (and some early ones just make you laugh and roll your eyes) you can find some jewels. I would say the narration was overall very good.
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