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The Scaffold Effect
- Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety
- Narrated by: Harold S. Koplewicz
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
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“A master synthesizer of attachment science, medical practice, and his own experience as a father, Harold Koplewicz capably and compassionately leads us through the art of scaffolding, from early childhood through the important adolescent period.” (Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of The Whole Brain Child)
Just as sturdy scaffolding is necessary when erecting a building and will come down when the structure grows stable, good parenting provides children with steady and warm emotional nourishment on the path toward independence. Never-ending parental problem-solving and involvement can have the opposite effect, enabling fragility and anxiety over time.
In The Scaffold Effect, world-renowned child psychiatrist Harold Koplewicz introduces the powerful and clinically tested idea that this deliberate build-up and then gradual loosening of parental support is the single most effective way to encourage kids to climb higher, try new things, grow from mistakes, and develop character and strength. Explaining the building blocks of an effective scaffold from infancy through young adulthood, he expertly guides parents through the strategies for raising empowered, capable people, including:
- Lay a solid foundation: The parent-child relationship needs to be made from the concrete mixture of emotional availability, positive reinforcement, clear messaging, and consistent rules. From this supportive base, your will forge a bond that will survive adolescence and grow stronger into adulthood.
- Empower growth: Skyscraper or sprawling ranch - the style of your child’s construction is not up to you! Scaffold parenting validates and accommodates the shape the child is growing into. Any effort to block or control growth will actually stunt it.
- Stay on their level: Imagine being on the ground floor of a house and trying to talk to someone on the roof. The person on the roof will have to “talk down” to you or yell. If your child’s building and your scaffold are on the same level, you can speak directly, look each other in the eye, and keep the lines of communication open.
Drawing on Dr. Koplewicz’s decades of clinical and personal experience, The Scaffold Effect is a compassionate, street-smart, and essential guide for the ages.
All of the author’s proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the Child Mind Institute.
Critic reviews
“With a unique mix of personal anecdote and professional insight, [Dr. Koplewicz] breaks with received wisdom, delivers up some eye-opening surprises - and sends the greatly reassuring message to parents that, if we take care of ourselves, our kids will be okay.” (Judith Warner, author of And Then They Stopped Talking to Me and Perfect Madness)
“The Scaffold Effect is written with so much understanding and so much sympathy, for both children and their parents. Harold Koplewicz brings science and clinical experience together with his own family experiences to create a book that is always practical and compassionate, and manages to be firm, gentle, and encouraging in all the right ways.” (Perri Klass, MD, professor of journalism and pediatrics at NYU and author of A Good Time to Be Born: How Science and Public Health Gave Children a Future)
“Scaffold parenting...shares the ‘sweet spot’ between permissive and controlling parenting...(and) reminds caregivers that it is never too late to help your children become the best versions of themselves, which is all any parent can hope for.” (Booklist)
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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Raising Happiness
- 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents
- By: Christine Carter
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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An essential guide to raising happy children from author Christine Carter, complete with tips, secrets, and strategies that will set the stage for positive emotions into adolescence and beyond.
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One of the best parenting books I have come across
- By Kristine on 02-05-13
By: Christine Carter
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The Self-Driven Child
- The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives
- By: William Stixrud PhD, Ned Johnson
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Many of us know we're putting too much pressure on our kids - and on ourselves - but how do we get off this crazy train? We want our children to succeed, to be their best, and to do their best, but what if they are not on board? A few years ago, Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud started noticing the same problem from different angles: even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking any real motivation. Many complained that they had no real control over their lives.
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Practical, wise, and well researched
- By Andrew on 07-12-18
By: William Stixrud PhD, and others
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The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans
- How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
- By: Josh Shipp
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Written in Shipp's playfully authoritative, no-nonsense voice, The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans tells his story and unpacks practical strategies that can make a difference. Ultimately, it's not about shortcuts or magic words - as Shipp reminds us, it's about investing in kids and giving them the love, time, and support they need to thrive. And that means every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.
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Read it....then read it again!
- By R. Eichelberger on 11-07-17
By: Josh Shipp
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Ready or Not
- Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World
- By: Madeline Levine
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Ready or Not explores how today’s parenting techniques and our myopic educational system are failing to prepare children for their certain-to-be-uncertain future - and how we can reverse course to ensure their lasting adaptability, resilience, health, and happiness.
By: Madeline Levine
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The Available Parent
- Expert Advice for Raising Successful and Resilient Teens and Tweens
- By: John Duffy
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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We have a tendency today to over-parent, micromanage, and underappreciate our adolescents. Dr. John Duffy's The Available Parent is a revolutionary approach to taking care of teens and tweens. The available parent of a teenager is open to discussion, offering advice and solutions but not insisting on them. He allows his child to make some mistakes, setting limits, primarily where health and safety are concerned. He never lectures - he is available but not controlling. He is neither cruel nor dismissive, ever....
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Parenting teens can be much less stressful!
- By Kathi on 06-12-14
By: John Duffy
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WHY Do They Act That Way?
- A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen
- By: David Walsh, Nat Bennett
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Even smart kids do stupid things. It's a simple fact of life. No one makes it through the teenage years unscathed - not the teens and not their parents. But now there's expert help for both generations in this groundbreaking new guide for surviving the drama of adolescence. In WHY Do They Act That Way? nationally renowned, award-winning psychologist Dr. David Walsh explains exactly what happens to the human brain on the path from childhood into adolescence and adulthood.
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LOVE!!
- By Amazon Customer on 05-11-23
By: David Walsh, and others
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It's OK to Go up the Slide
- Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Creative Kids
- By: Heather Shumaker
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Heather Shumaker has sparked much discussion with her "renegade rules for raising competent and compassionate kids". In this follow-up book, she takes on new hot-button issues like banning homework, technology use, and skipping kindergarten. Shumaker offers broader guidance on how parents can control their own anger and move from an overscheduled life to one of more free play.
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Amazing resource for parents and teachers
- By Ahmed on 05-11-16
By: Heather Shumaker
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The Dolphin Way
- A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids - without Turning into a Tiger
- By: Shimi Kang
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The audiobook makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability - is the dolphin way.
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Very easy way to understand complicated subject
- By Nhat on 11-05-18
By: Shimi Kang
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Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
- Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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The Gentle Sleep Book
- For Calm Babies, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
- By: Sarah Ockwell-Smith
- Narrated by: Katy Sobey
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The Gentle Sleep Book offers gentle, no-tears sleep solutions for exhausted parents of newborns to five-year-olds. A large percentage of parents find their young children's sleep - or lack of - challenging. This new audiobook from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, founder of BabyCalm, will be an indispensable guide for parents, whatever challenges they are facing with their child's sleep - from the day they bring their newborn home until their child is settled in at school.
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It's fine but not much about 2-4 years
- By Patrick on 02-12-18
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness
- Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy
- By: Edward M. Hallowell MD
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Edward M. Hallowell, MD, father of three and a clinical psychiatrist, has thought long and hard about what makes children feel good about themselves and the world they live in. Now, in The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, he shares his findings with all of us who care about children. We don't need statistical studies or complicated expert opinions to raise children. What we do need is love, wonder, and the confidence to trust our instincts.
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Love this book and will be listening again
- By Jenny on 09-15-22
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Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
- Quiet the Critical Voice in Your Head, Heal Self-Doubt, and Live the Life You Deserve
- By: Stephanie M. Kriesberg PsyD, Wendy T. Behary LCSW - foreword
- Narrated by: Linda Jones
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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If you were raised by a narcissistic mother and are struggling with the lingering effects of a toxic upbringing, this is the road map you need to heal the past and thrive in the present and future.
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I really needed this!
- By Rachael E on 01-28-23
By: Stephanie M. Kriesberg PsyD, and others
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Overcoming Oppositional Defiant Disorder
- A Two-Part Treatment Plan to Help Parents and Kids Work Together
- By: Gina Atencio-MacLean PsyD
- Narrated by: Tiffany Morgan
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Parenting a child with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is difficult, stressful, and often overwhelming. Overcoming Oppositional Defiant Disorder is the first child psychology book that sets you up for success by recognizing that taking care of your child starts with taking care of yourself.
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Need more specifics
- By Lee on 05-14-24
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Parenting with Presence
- Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Polly Stone
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons - refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests - can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment.
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fantastic
- By Sarah Prentice on 06-26-16
By: Susan Stiffelman
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The Gift of Failure
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Just Ok
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The Common Path to Uncommon Success
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Based on thousands of interviews from John Lee Dumas’ highly acclaimed podcast, Entrepreneurs on Fire, this revolutionary step-by-step roadmap provides a proven path for entrepreneurs like you to achieve the financial freedom and lifestyle fulfillment you are capable of. Let The Common Path to Uncommon Success show you how.
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You've heard it all before.
- By Daniel Graue on 04-29-21
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The Leader's Mind
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Clear and concise steps to develop the confidence and mental edge that sets you apart as a trailblazing leader - the same approach thousands of professional athletes have used to become champions.
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Good stories but tries too hard
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By: Jim Afremow PhD, and others
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It's On Me
- Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life
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So many of us feel lonely, unfulfilled, or trapped—in our roles and relationships, in cycles of self-sabotage and bad decisions, by our patterns and misguided attempts to feel happy or to feel something. According to existential psychotherapist Sara Kuburic, it doesn’t have to be so difficult. Really. The answer is found in facing ourselves—whatever version that might be, regardless of whether we like the person we see reflected back to us. It’s about accepting full responsibility for the choices and actions that create our reality.
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To Self Absorbed
- By Alamo Don on 09-20-23
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What Do You Say?
- How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home
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William Stixrud, PhD, and Ned Johnson have 60 years combined experience talking to kids one-on-one, and the most common question they get when out speaking to parents and educators is: What do you say? While many adults understand the importance and power of the philosophies behind the books that dominate the parenting bestseller list, parents are often left wondering how to put those concepts into action. Johnson and Stixrud show how to engage in respectful and effective dialogue, beginning with defining and demonstrating the basic principles of listening and speaking.
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Matt Perman has spent his career helping people learn how to do work in a gospel-centered and effective way, combining theological substance with practical self-management. In How to Get Unstuck, he will walk you step-by-step through the core principles that free you to be more effective in everything you do. Drawing on the wisdom of the Bible and on the best of today's research, How to Get Unstuck shows believers and non-believers alike how to live productive, integrated lives and develops a poignant portrayal of true effectiveness.
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Don’t remember God being mentioned in sample
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Through the stories of kids and parents in the middle school trenches, a New York Times best-selling author reveals why these years are so painful, how parents unwittingly make them worse, and what we all need to do to grow up.
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Pointless: author offers no advice or insight.
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It can be easy to become task-oriented, focusing on the goals ahead of us and checking off our to-do lists rather than focusing on the people in our lives. Entrepreneur and business coach Brian Dixon set out to discover the secret to living a life that matters and finding work you love. In Start with Your People, Brian shares principles, tips, and personal stories to help you maximize the most important resource to succeed in both life and calling: relationships. Join Brian on a journey to discover the people-first mindset that changes everything.
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Read this book!
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By: Brian Dixon, and others
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Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen
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The 14 essential conversations to have with your tween and early teenager to prepare them for the emotional, physical, and social challenges ahead, including scripts and advice to keep the communication going and stay connected during this critical developmental window.
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Hopeful mom
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Michele Borba has been a teacher, educational consultant, and parent for 40 years - and she's never been more worried than she is about this current generation of kids. The high-achieving students she talks with every day are more accomplished, better educated, and more privileged than ever before. They're also more stressed, unhappier, and struggling with anxiety, depression, and burnout at younger and younger ages - "we're like pretty packages with nothing inside," said one young teen.
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In May 2013, Glenn Greenwald set out for Hong Kong to meet an anonymous source who claimed to have astonishing evidence of pervasive government spying and insisted on communicating only through heavily encrypted channels. That source turned out to be the 29-year-old NSA contractor Edward Snowden, and his revelations about the agency’s widespread, systemic overreach proved to be some of the most explosive and consequential news in recent history, triggering a fierce debate over national security....
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Best Read in Print Format
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It's comforting to imagine that superstars in their fields were just born better equipped than the rest of us. When a co-worker loses 20 pounds, or a friend runs a marathon while completing a huge project at work, we assume they have more grit, more willpower, more innate talent, and above all, more motivation to see their goals through. But that's not at actually true, as popular Inc.com columnist Jeff Haden proves. "Motivation" as we know it is a myth. Motivation isn't the special sauce that we require at the beginning of any major change.
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nothing you haven't heard before
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Raising Good Humans
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With this book, you’ll find powerful mindfulness skills for calming your own stress response when difficult emotions arise. You’ll also discover strategies for cultivating respectful communication, effective conflict resolution, and reflective listening. In the process, you’ll learn to examine your own unhelpful patterns and ingrained reactions that reflect the generational habits shaped by your parents, so you can break the cycle and respond to your children in more skillful ways.
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Great Book About Parenting and Teaching Kindness!
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No-Drama Discipline
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Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears - without causing a scene. Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth.
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I Can See Light At The End Of My Tunnel
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By: Tina Payne Bryson PhD, and others
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Never Enough
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In the ever more competitive race to secure the best possible future, today’s students face unprecedented pressure to succeed. They jam-pack their schedules with AP classes, fill every waking hour with resume-padding activities, and even sabotage relationships with friends to “get ahead.” Family incomes and schedules are stretched to the breaking point by tutoring fees and athletic schedules. Yet this drive to optimize performance has only resulted in skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and even self-harm in America’s highest achieving schools.
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If you live or work in one of these communities, you will see yourself
- By Paula on 09-04-23
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Do What Feels Good
- Recipes, Remedies, and Routines to Treat Your Body Right
- By: Hannah Bronfman
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In Do What Feels Good, Hannah offers real talk about getting in touch with your body’s needs, baring her soul and sharing her story along the way. Hannah provides insight on everything from gut health to nutrition to fitness to skincare, sharing insight from top experts on how to understand your body’s unique chemistry so you can fuel it with more of the things that feel good and less of the things that don’t.
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great book the perfect self care resource!
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By: Hannah Bronfman
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The Anxious Generation
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There is no bigger public health story now than the collapse in youth mental health. The numbers are terrifying and dominate our headlines. There has been much debate over how we got here, and what to do next, and bestselling author and social psychologist Jonathan Haidt is at the white-hot center of that discourse. Haidt has spent his career speaking wisdom and truth into the most difficult landscapes—communities polarized by politics and religion, campuses battling culture wars, and now the perfect storm contributing to a public health emergency for Gen Z.
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Empower parents, Not governments
- By Vance V. Ginn on 04-14-24
By: Jonathan Haidt
What listeners say about The Scaffold Effect
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-21-21
Great listen
Loved listening to Dr. Koplewicz and his ideas behind Scaffold Parenting. I feel more confident dealing with every day issues and questions my children throw at me!
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- Kayti
- 07-25-22
Toddlers or teenagers this book has wisdom
Whether you are raising toddlers young kids or teenagers I was struck with the down to earth wisdom of this book and practical
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- Stacey
- 01-31-22
Helpful tools and reminders
We all think we are good parents, but this book is a reminder that none of us know everything. Parenting is difficult, and you can always improve. Building a relationship with the child you have, and not trying to build the child you think you should have, will allow you to see how amazing the human you are raising is. This book was helpful for me as I begin the high school years with my teens. A must read for every parent to read and re-read at different stages in life.
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- Sonja
- 01-08-24
Great listen
I liked the easy steps at the end of each chapter and would recommend this to everyone with young kids before they enter school which was a big transition towards independence in our house
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- Admiral M.
- 06-16-22
Mom of 3 year olds
I loved this book! While it’s not necessarily for toddlers, it will help me frame my parenting skills as they age!
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- Regina C
- 08-21-23
What a fabulous read!
Thank you Dr. Koplewicz! I have 3 children who are elementary and middle schoolers and I nodded my head along with the entire book all the way to the very last sentence! What a brilliant way to look at parenting and help guide ME through my challenges of their growth.
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- Sean G
- 01-22-24
Time-worthy
Thanks author for sharing his knowledge. This was a good listen overall. I have 2 criticisms:
1. Narration could have been better. Author’s non-professional reading actually degraded the experience a bit for me.
2. It feels like author’s advices conflict at times. On the one hand we should respect our kid’s decision and not force him to do a certain activity, on the other hand push him to be more outgoing and do a certain activity.
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- Ellen G Gerard
- 05-14-21
I'm so glad I listened to this book.
They say that kids don't come with manuals. They are wrong. This book has and will continue to help me be a better parent to my child. I owe the writer a debt of gratitude. Thank you for your commitment to our children.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Jordana
- 08-28-21
Read this!
Every single parent should read this book!! I have read many parenting books - this is #1 for every single parent, regardless of their children’s unique struggles.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Stephanie Anne Slack
- 09-20-21
One of the BEST parenting books I've read
strongly suggest to parents and educators. love the anecdotes and metaphor. really made the advice stick.
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1 person found this helpful