Showing titles in Humor

Let’s go pay God a visit... So I can make thread again. That’s…something, I guess. Don’t get me wrong—I could be doing a whole lot worse than pumping out thread all day while cooped up in some demon’s mansion. I just wish my other powers would come back alrea—Oh…they are back. When the heck did that happen?! And why am I suddenly, like, really good at teleporting? I bet I could go anywhere I want! In fact, that gives me an idea…Hey, D, I think it’s time we met face-to-face!

When I first came to this world, I said I'd live a carefree, laidback life. Recently, I've been thinking about trading the R&R for quality time with my new family, but... Argh! First, Falfa gets stuck in her (admittedly adorable) slime form, then a witch cons me and gets me involved in a huge mess...! Why does this keep happening?!

Luke is a straightforward man. There are only a few things he wants in life: Levels, things to fight to gain levels, and finding Cookie, so he can fight things more efficiently. Yet, the other members of his team are ready for some relaxation, and fun in the sun. After all, there should be huge perks that come with stopping an invasion in its tracks. But surprisingly, being famous for making the Kingdom wealthy and powerful has its downsides. Namely, there is now a huge price on their heads. The Four soon find themselves searching for a way to pit their power against the world.

Colin Fischer cannot stand to be touched. He does not like the color blue. He needs index cards to recognize facial expressions. But when a gun is found in the school cafeteria, interrupting a female classmate's birthday celebration, Colin is the only for the investigation. It's up to him to prove that Wayne Connelly, the school bully and Colin's frequent tormenter, didn't bring the gun to school. After all, Wayne didn't have didn't have frosting on his hands....

Meet teenage Wiccan Mila Flores, who truly could not care less what you think about her Doc Martens, her attitude, or her weight because she knows that, no matter what, her BFF Riley is right by her side. So when Riley and Fairmont Academy mean girls June Phelan-Park and Dayton Nesseth die under suspicious circumstances, Mila refuses to believe everyone's explanation that her BFF was involved in a suicide pact. Instead, armed with a tube of lip gloss and an ancient grimoire, Mila does the unthinkable to uncover the truth: she brings the girls back to life.

Okay, so just know from the start that it wasn't supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near The Ruperts, our favorite boy band. We didn't mean to kidnap one of the guys. It kind of, sort of happened that way. But now he's tied up in our hotel room. And the worst part of all, it's Rupert P. All four members of The Ruperts might have the same first name, but they couldn't be more different. And Rupert P. is the biggest flop out of the whole group.

Esme Pearl's life used to be all about bumming rides and babysitting. Sure, it wasn't glamorous, but it was predictable. All that changed when Cassandra Heaven came to town, and they discovered their complicated, and connected, legacy: Esme and Cassandra are Sitters, supernaturally gifted teens armed with an ever-changing grimoire of Sitter witchcraft to help them protect the innocent and keep evil demons at bay. You know, the typical teenage stuff.

Samantha van Leer is a sophomore at Vassar College majoring in psychology with a minor in human development. She has four dogs: Alvin, Harvey, Dudley, and Oliver - for whom the prince in this story is named.

It's 1991, and Tara Maureen Murphy is finally on top. A frightening cross between Regina George and Tracy Flick, Tara Maureen Murphy is any high school's worst nightmare. She's a senior, poised to star as Sandy in South High's production of Grease. Cinching the role is just one teensy step in Tara's plot to get out of her hometown and become the Broadway starlet she was born to be. It gets tricky with the arrival of freshman Matthew Bloom, whose dazzling audition for the role of Danny Zuko turns Tara's world upside down.

In the small town of Ealing, Iowa, Austin and his best friend, Robby, have accidentally unleashed an unstoppable army. An army of horny, hungry, six-foot-tall praying mantises that only want to do two things. This is the truth. This is history. It’s the end of the world. And nobody knows anything about it. You know what I mean. Funny, intense, complex, and brave, Grasshopper Jungle brilliantly weaves together everything from testicle-dissolving genetically modified corn to the struggles of recession-era, small-town America in this groundbreaking coming-of-age stunner.

At nine, Tiffany Aching defeated the cruel Queen of Fairyland. At 11, she banished an ancient body-stealing evil. At 13, Tiffany faces a new challenge: a boy. And boys can be a bit of a problem when you're 13. But the Wintersmith isn't exactly a boy. He is winter itself.

After many trials and challenges, our reborn spider has become very good at fighting (and eating!) monsters. Getting a little full of herself, she's rushed headlong into some unexplored area and now, she's facing her worst enemy...a huge dragon!

So I’m a god, so what? I’m weaker than ever! I have no stats, no skills, and no physical stamina! In fact, the only thing I got out of this upgrade was...legs. But since I never have the energy to walk, the others have no choice but to haul me around like a piece of luggage. Can’t we just get to the demon realm already?! We’re so close! One final leap over the Mystic Mountains, and—Wait, what? There’s a rampaging ogre killing everyone in sight? Greaaat. Of course there’s a surprise boss battle right before the checkpoint. Work your OP magic, Demon Lord!

At 17, Mei should be in high school, but skipping fourth grade was part of her parents' master plan. Now a freshman at MIT, she is on track to fulfill the rest of this predetermined future: become a doctor, marry a preapproved Taiwanese Ivy Leaguer, produce a litter of babies. With everything her parents have sacrificed to make her cushy life a reality, Mei can't bring herself to tell them the truth - that she (one) hates germs, (two) falls asleep in biology lectures, and (three) has a crush on her classmate Darren Takahashi, who is decidedly not Taiwanese.

A young priestess has formed her first adventuring party, but almost immediately they find themselves in distress. It's the Goblin Slayer who comes to their rescue—a man who's dedicated his life to the extermination of all goblins, by any means necessary. And when rumors of his feats begin to circulate, there's no telling who might come calling next...

Richard's cousin is missing, and his best hope of finding her rests with the wily, one-eyed, ex-governor of Florida. Carl Hiaasen introduces his iconic character Skink to a younger audience in this nail-biting adventure! Classic Malley: Her parents are about to ship her off to boarding school, so she takes off with some guy she met online...Poor Richard: He's less of a rebel than Malley, and a lot less trusting. He knows his cousin is in trouble before she does. Wild Skink: He's a ragged, one-eyed, ex-governor of Florida, and enough of a renegade to think he can track Malley down.

I've really done it this time. After I saved my old classmate who's been reborn as an overpowered vampire, the townspeople took it upon themselves to worship me like some kind of guardian spirit. Not that I'm complaining about the delicious free food, but...I'm a loner by nature! I'm TERRIBLE at dealing with people! And they're not monsters, so it's not like I can just kill them to make them go away. What am I gonna do...?

Get ready to die laughing: This is an outrageously funny ride through the last hours of a teenager’s life as he searches for love, meaning, answers, and (just maybe) a way to live on. Denton Little’s Deathdate takes place in a world exactly like our own except that everyone knows the day on which they will die. For Denton, that’s in just two days - the day of his senior prom. Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life, but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle.

I did it! I'm finally an Arachne!...Aaand things already aren't going the way I thought they would. I'm inexplicably on a road trip with the Demon Lord, a reincarnated baby, and her troubled vampire guardian. I don't really interact with them much, besides subjecting my reborn classmate to insane training, watching the party sneak off into villages, hearing about the delicious food they eat...Wait, hold up. Doesn't it seem like I'm the only one who's being left out?!? W-w-well, the monsters up here taste delicious, so whatever!

Samantha Madison is just your average disenfranchised sophomore gal living in DC when, in an inadvertent moment sandwiched between cookie buying and CD-perusing, she puts a stop to an attempt on the life of the president. Before she can say “MTV2”, she’s appointed Teen Ambassador to the UN and has caught the eye of the very cute First Son.