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Bless Your Heart
- Narrated by: Stephanie Németh-Parker
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
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Publisher's summary
A crackling mystery-horror novel with big-hearted characters and Southern charm with a bite, Bless Your Heart is a gasp-worthy delight from start to finish from debut author Lindy Ryan.
Rise and shine. The Evans women have some undead to kill.
It’s 1999 in Southeast Texas and the Evans women, owners of the only funeral parlor in town, are keeping steady with…normal business. The dead die, you bury them. End of story. That’s how Ducey Evans has done it for the last eighty years, and her progeny—Lenore the experimenter and Grace, Lenore’s soft-hearted daughter, have run Evans Funeral Parlor for the last fifteen years without drama. Ever since That Godawful Mess that left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter Luna, alone.
But when town gossip Mina Jean Murphy’s body is brought in for a regular burial and she rises from the dead instead, it’s clear that the Strigoi—the original vampire—are back. And the Evans women are the ones who need to fight back to protect their town.
As more folks in town turn up dead and Deputy Roger Taylor begins asking way too many questions, Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and now Luna, must take up their blades and figure out who is behind the Strigoi’s return. As the saying goes, what rises up, must go back down. But as unspoken secrets and revelations spill from the past into the present, the Evans family must face that sometimes, the dead aren’t the only things you want to keep buried.
A crackling mystery-horror novel with big-hearted characters and Southern charm with a bite, Bless Your Heart is a gasp-worthy delight from start to finish.
"A gloriously gruesome, compulsively readable debut that is as grizzly as it is clever and heartfelt."—Rachel Harrison
A Macmillan Audio production from Minotaur Books.
Critic reviews
“Such a brilliant blend of banter and dread. Authored with the confidence of a storyteller who knows every inch, cadence, and beat of their tale. Instantly cinematic. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to wish you were part of the Evans family, working at the Evans Funeral Home, just so you can spend more time with these people. Lindy Ryan is on fire with this book.” (Josh Malerman, New York Times bestselling author of Bird Box and Daphne)
"The Evans women have arrived and these Southern belle slayers are carving out a spot in our undead hearts. Lindy Ryan has harnessed the charm and horror of a Romero-helmed Steel Magnolias, equal parts Carson McCullers and Bram Stoker. Bless her heart." (Clay McLeod Chapman, author of Ghost Eaters)
"Lindy Ryan is among the most electrifying voices in the horror genre today. Her writing is devastating, beautiful, and horrifying in all the best ways. With her new novel, she's created a group of characters you won't ever forget set in a world that's sure to get under your skin. Bless Your Heart is everything you could want in a horror novel and more. Highly recommended." (Gwendolyn Kiste, Three-time Bram Stoker Awards®-winning author of The Rust Maidens and Reluctant Immortals)
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Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of best-selling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity's notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn't expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read.
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intriguing but skip if triggered by child abuse
- By Amazon Customer on 05-16-19
By: Colleen Hoover
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The Worst of You
- By: Sarah Richards
- Narrated by: Sarah Desjardins
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Original Recording
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In The Worst of You, just-wed architects Timo and Nia flee a murder scene, setting in motion a chain reaction of lies and betrayals that threaten to unravel everything they have built together. Twisted and propulsive, this thriller is told from the alternating perspectives of the couple and those close to them on Williwaw Island, each with their own motive to use the outcome of the murder case to their advantage. When a huge storm sweeps up the coast, trapping everyone on tiny Williwaw Island, it’s a race against time—and the elements — to stop the murderer from striking again.
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Good storyline, but slow.
- By Caryl on 05-16-24
By: Sarah Richards
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The Justice
- By: James Patterson, Aaron Cooley
- Narrated by: Sanaa Lathan, David Rasche, Susan Kelechi Watson, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
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Justice Beth Garner (Sanaa Lathan) just landed the appointment of a lifetime—a seat on the Supreme Court. Now a mysterious company is blackmailing her for her vote on a landmark case. Caught up in the checkered past of her hero and mentor, Chief Justice Clayton Erlenborn, Beth must cunningly maneuver through a dangerous web of secrets, deception, and cold-blooded murder. Armed with only her moral compass and unflinching nerve, she’s up against a sinister world full of undercover agents, domestic terrorists, and black ops assassins—all of whom want her to comply or die.
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One of the best
- By Jackie on 02-25-24
By: James Patterson, and others
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The Crimes of Dorian Gray
- By: Arvind Ethan David
- Narrated by: Lexi Underwood, Neil Brown Jr., Richard Schiff, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 42 mins
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This gripping fictional true crime podcast delves into the story of the enigmatic Dorian Gray, a vigilante who changed the world, rewriting history in the blood of her victims. Her targets were the titans of their era—billionaires, movie stars, politicians. Dorian said they had one thing in common: they had all committed crimes against women. They were rapists, abusers, master manipulators. Dorian left evidence of their heinous offenses with their bodies, and then she vanished without a trace.
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The plot
- By Falfon K Smith Jr. on 04-24-24
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The Package
- By: Sebastian Fitzek
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
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Story
Emma is the one that got away. The only survivor of a serial killer known in the tabloids as “The Hairdresser”, because of the trophies he takes from his victims. The police aren't convinced. Nor is her husband. She never actually saw her tormentor properly, but now she recognizes him in every man she sees. Haunted by the horrifying incident and unwanted notoriety, Emma gives up her job as a psychiatrist and retreats from the outside world to recuperate at home, where it’s quiet. Where she can be anonymous and safe. Where no one can hurt her.
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Twisted psychological trip!
- By Drea on 04-29-24
By: Sebastian Fitzek
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One of Us Is Dead
- By: Jeneva Rose
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt, Hillary Huber, Elizabeth Evans, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Opulence. Sex. Betrayal…sometimes friendship can be deadly. Meet the women of Buckhead—a place of expensive cars, huge houses, and competitive friendships. Who amongst these women will be clever enough to survive Buckhead—and who will wind up dead? They say that friendships can be complex, but no one said it could ever be this deadly.
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Great mystery. Sexually graphic.
- By Sue on 09-04-22
By: Jeneva Rose
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Husband and Wife
- By: K. L. Slater
- Narrated by: Clare Corbett
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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My husband and I are fighting for our lives in hospital after a terrible car accident. But despite my pain, all I can think about is what our families will find behind our front door. The scarf that has been all over the news, belonging to a dead young woman with honey-coloured hair. I have to speak to the police before my husband can. I’m drifting in and out of consciousness, but when I hear my wife talking to the police, accusing me of the murder of an innocent woman, a cold fear grips me. I know I’ve got a temper.
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Good twists
- By Susan Wiegert on 12-25-23
By: K. L. Slater
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Luciana is the baby of her large Colombian American family. And despite usually being relegated to the sidelines, she now finds herself the voice of reason in the middle of their unexpected crisis. Her older sister, Mari, is away at college and reduced to a mere listening ear on the other end of their many phone calls, so when South Florida residents are ordered to evacuate before a hurricane, it’s up to Luciana to deal with her eccentric grandmother, Abue, who’s refusing to leave. But the storm isn’t the only danger.
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Flowers have always been the best communicators. They’ve mastered falling over one another in the perfect way to announce exactly what they need: sunlight, water, space. They do not rush. They do not bloom before their time. They do not take without giving in return…
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What listeners say about Bless Your Heart
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-30-24
Like true blood meets practical magic
I usually hate fun reads. Like I love a super long heavy plot but this book was just sooooo good. The narrater deserves an award and all the characters were interesting and compelling. I want more
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- Andrea Dethmers
- 04-19-24
Loved this book!
Never thought a book about dark creatures could also be so funny and emotional. I loved the bond the family had and how the characters all interacted with one another.
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- Jamie Toepel
- 05-15-24
Bless y’all’s heart!
What a fantastic debut! This story is unique and feels classic at the same time! 4 generations of Texas women run a small town funeral home, where they “take care of” the restless dead! It made me laugh, it made me cry! Fantastic narration! Highly recommend!
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- L. Garcia
- 05-03-24
Fast read, fun mystery
Good storyline, well developed characters and good twist. Listened to it in three days! Looking forward to the next book.
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